“As Above, So Below” takes forever to go below. It takes even longer to attempt to be scary. A tale of catacombs and the creatures one might find down there, it’s mostly an “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” or “”Angels and Demons” ripoff, with horror elements. Dull, claustrophobic, but the shaky camera style wears itself out with this one. It gave me a headache. Poor reviews for this last major release of the summer. Will it earn a dime? Hard to say. Box Office Guru figures $9 million. Maybe.
“The November Man” is Pierce Brosnan’ shot at reviving his Bond fortunes, a muddled spy thriller with some interesting elements but which wears its budget and cast-cheap-models as every scene’s extras. His co-star/rival, Luke Bracey, brings nothing to the movie. Olga Kurylenko shows some leg and a few others show some skin. Yeah, it’s that cynical. It opened Wed. to poor reviews and won’t make more than a few million by Monday night, so all Pierce’s talk show chatter about a series of films is just that — talk.
“The Last of Robin Hood” is a limited release bio-drama about the last “love” of Errol Flynn’s life, an underage paramour played by Dakota Fanning. You see the problem right there. Kevin Kline is Flynn, Susan Sarandon is the mother who lets her daughter take up with an infamous movie star. But Fanning kills the movie. Kills it. Go to college, dear. Make something of yourself. Train to become Elle Fanning’s agent/manager.
The Elmore Leonard adaptation “Life of Crime” is earning mixed notices. A ’70s kidnapping dramedy, it stars Mos Def and John Hawkes as the reasonably clever kidnappers who bring in a doltish weak link to help kidnap Jennifer Aniston. She’s married to the brutish, crooked drunk played by Tim Robbins, who has run off to the Bahamas to be with his wily paramour (Isla Fisher). Decent casting, funny bits, it works well enough. Aniston is the movie’s weakest link, though. She just doesn’t have it, whatever “it” was in terms of something she can bring to the party.